My Health Care Debate
My mind is foggy, will I laze on the couch or go for a walk?
I am hungry for something sweet, will I grab a candy bar that I believe is not really good for me but a part of me likes, or will I find a piece of fruit that I believe is better for me which I also enjoy?
It’s time for bed, will I brush my teeth and floss, or just brush?
Here I am, being self critical again – chanting a mantra of negativity at myself that I know grows into digestive tension and pain, that leads to a feeling of hopelessness and not caring for myself, that leads to inertia, that leads to fatigue and apathy. My self criticism generates criticism of others and I find myself retreating from those who care about me.
Will I just let that tape keep playing, or will I reach for something different? Will I gather my strength to pierce through the negativity and look for something okay, good, positive, about myself, my life, my future? Knowing that when I put my effort in this direction, I have a better day, I am happier, and I am more apt to make daily choices that I believe benefit my health. When I make this effort, I notice I have more energy, curiosity and creativity. I move in the direction of the call of my Spirit and everything seems to unfold spontaneously and harmoniously as I benefit from synchronistic events.
I come upon a bush of thorns and flowers. Will I unconsciously, habitually reach for the thorns or will I take a moment to notice the details of what has appeared before me, and fill my senses with the blessings of a rose?
State of mind is a choice, although that’s easier said than done! By stepping back and being an observer, I’ve found more control–(when I’m able to call in enough awareness to step back, that is). When experiencing a crisis, I like to answer myself with “interesting.” It’s a good reminder to not get too involved in the crisis and to stay on the outside looking in.
You have set my mind to thinking……
The duality-ridden, Newtonian world always leaves us with these kinds of choices (candy or apple?). Eventually we emerge into seeing ourselves as one with everything, all of manifestation and ourselves one living organism. Riding the wave of life. choice seeming to happen naturally, suffused with the joy of just being. Unafraid of death which appears as ongoing experience in awareness.
These are intellectually grasped potentials, lived at times and at other times back into the dualistic soup. Who cares? Good question.
You’re a gem Cindy Black, in this world and the next.
About to head out the door to the gym and am choosing to notice that the grey sky brings a softer lighting and the light rain adds delightful music to the neighborhoods through which I walk.
Thanks for your eloquent expression of what was in my heart this morning.